Have you ever felt like you're drowning? Suffocating. Being able to feel the liquids fill your lungs, and then your organs, and finally, your brain. Every crevasse in your body is water. The water slowly but surely fills all the way to your fingertips, and finally, you're gone.


That's how I feel. Some days, more than others, but that feeling is always there. 


I am drowning, but there is no water. Only the sorrows in my heart, leaking into the rest of my body. 


When did things get so heavy?

Why am I so alone?

Alone...


I take for granted those of whom I love and reciprocate that feeling. Everyday I am screaming without any sound, and the few who reply to my shrieks are never enough to soothe my aching throat. And everyday I hate myself more because I cannot let those few people be enough, even when I tell myself it is.


So here I am, drowning. My throat aching from my silent cries for help that will never be heard. And even if they were, it would never be enough. Nothing ever seems to be enough anymore.




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