There’s only one boy who has truly broken my heart. It’s probably not in the way you might be implying. He was my best friend. We’ve never been romantically involved, and I never want to be. People typically believe love comes with lust and romance. That is not always true. Love, at its purest form, is just a certain type of passion and caring for a person that is unfathomable until you feel it. It is not lust. It is not romantic. It can be, but at its purest form, it is not. Of course, this is my own belief, and others may not agree. Either way, I love that boy. He’s the only long term friend I’ve ever had, given that I’ve transferred schools so many times. He’s my baby, and there’s nothing I fear more than him getting hurt. But he’s grown up, and he doesn’t want to be just that anymore. I’ve watched him grow up, and he’s watched me. We have watched each other turn into monsters. I can’t fix his collar, I can’t tell him to not trust her, I cannot change what he thinks. He is an independent young man, and I am an independent young woman. I cannot be that protective best friend anymore, because he sees that as a threat. I cannot protect him from all of the bad, because he does not want me to. He always tells me, “I’m not that chubby little kid from middle school anymore. I’m fine.” Either way, I love that boy in a way a lot of people have not experienced. Without romance, without lust, only love. But he doesn’t feel the same way anymore. He has moved on. He’s got himself a girlfriend and a ‘nice’ group of friends that doesn’t include me. There is nothing worse than ‘breaking up’ with your best friend. It’s so much worse than a boyfriend or anything remotely like that because you’ve lost your secret keeper, the person you can talk to, everything. When a boy breaks your heart, you run to your best friend. But if your best friend breaks your heart, you have no one to cry to. He left me, he moved on. I was only a phase of his life, one that he has very clearly grown out of. Everyday I still worry about him. I always hope he’s okay, because he does not talk to me, and I never know. In a few words, he broke my heart, but then again, I let him.

"Life becomes easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got." -Robert Brault

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